<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d9866427\x26blogName\x3dSCOTWISE\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLUE\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttp://scotwise.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://scotwise.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d5347480519749768188', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>

Friday, March 31, 2006

DAILY ENCOURAGEMENT FRIDAY - A JOYFUL HEART. #20.

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. - Pro 17:22.

Another week gone and time to prepare for the weekend! Have a laugh to get it started…

ONE LINERS
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Borrow money from a pessimist, they don't expect it back. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
----------------------
Benny in the Desert
In the great desert lived a band of nomads. Their leader, Benny, had risen to his rank due to his magnificent beard. His people believed a man's strength and courage came from his beard, and thus the man with the biggest beard was their chief.


After leading the band for many years, Benny began to fell uncomfortable wearing the beard, in this hot and dusty land. He wanted to shave it off, so he called his council together to get their advice.

When he said he wanted to shave, the councilmen were shocked. One said, "Do you not remember the ancient legend, Sire. The leader who removes his beard is cursed and made into a piece of earthenware."

Benny had heard this legend, but being a modern man, he scoffed at the tale. Being headstrong, he went ahead and cut and scraped away his once magnificent beard. As the final whisker was cut off, a huge dust storm came up.

It lasted only a few seconds, and when it cleared, there was a man-sized clay vessel where only moments before had stood their leader. The council then knew the legend must be true. Their conclusion? "A Benny shaved is a Benny urned."
--------------------------
Drunk Confession...

A drunk staggers into a church and sits down in a confessional and says nothing. The bewildered priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing. The priest knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak.

The drunk replies: "Thersh no use knockin' mate, thersh no paper in this one either."
--------------------------
Ten Rules For Happier Living:
1. Give something away (no strings attached)
2. Do a kindness (and forget it)
3. Spend a few minutes with the aged (their experience is a priceless guidance)
4. Look intently into the face of a baby (and marvel)
5. Laugh often (it's life's lubricant)
6. Give thanks (a thousand times a day is not enough)
7. Pray (or you will lose the way)
8. Work (with vim and vigor)
9. Plan as though you'll live forever (because you will)
10.Live as though you'll die tomorrow (because you will on some tomorrow)
- Source Unknown.

PUNS OF THE WEEK FOR MY FRIEND – BLOGOTIONAL, HE LOVES THEM SO MUCH… THEY SHARPEN HIS MIND.
1. He made so many mistakes that he had an err about him.
2. Why did the banana go to the psychiatrist? Because it had a split personality.
3. When vegetables want to converse with petunias, they use a cell phone and cauliflower.
4. Running around your yard for thousands of miles would be quite a feet.
5. Arab musical composers teach their children to play Haydn Sheik.
6. On a lark, the bird watcher was robin the liquor store, even though he couldn't swallow.
7. This is some pretty good tapioca. That's one way of pudding it.
8. A boy told his parents he wanted to raise goats for a living, but he was only kidding.
9. If a horse could predict the weather, it would probably say that the weather is stable.
10. A family went to watch a 007 movie at the theatre, it was a bonding experience.
11. First time hunters were arguing over which kind of animal tracks they had found when they were hit by a train.
12. A man walked into a bar with a lump of asphalt under one arm and said to the bartender - A whisky please, and one for the road.
13. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
14. My brother saved money by shaving his head rather than going to the barber. You might say he was making cutbacks.
15.When the window-shade specialist got married, his bride was also a maid of awner.

SO ONCE AGAIN LET US REMIND OURSELVES, THAT BEING CHEERFUL KEEPS YOU HEALTHY. IT IS SLOW DEATH TO BE GLOOMY ALL THE TIME!

Loving Father, help me by the power of the Holy Spirit, to remind myself that Jesus died to set me free, help me Lord to live that life, and be determined in Him to have a joyful heart, in Jesus wonderful name I pray, amen!

HAVE A GREAT AND GODLY WEEKEND!

Be encouraged!
GBYAY

Site Meter