<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d9866427\x26blogName\x3dSCOTWISE\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLUE\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttp://scotwise.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://scotwise.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d5347480519749768188', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>

Friday, March 17, 2006

DAILY ENCOURAGEMENT FRIDAY - A JOYFUL HEART. #18.

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. - Pro 17:22.

Another week is about to flash by, and we have hardly begun this one. I don’t know whether its just me, or is the weeks flying by? And what a week this has been, I have been suffering from severe gout; I have not been able to g’out, but never mind… Sunday’s coming! Hallelujah!

ONE LINERS
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
Death is hereditary.
Join the Army, meet interesting people, and kill them.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Friends may come and go, but enemies tend to accumulate.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.

Genius does what it must, talent does what it can, and you had best do what you're told.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
A day without sunshine is like, night.
------------------------
BELL RINGER
The Church is still looking for a Bell-Ringer after the tragic death of the armless bell-ringer.... After interviewing several more people the bishop was about to give up when another armless man banged on the door with his head , the newspaper ad firmly clenched between his teeth.


The bishop removed the slip of paper and the man was able to tell him that his armless twin brother had applied the day before and met with an accident. Afraid of what could happen the bishop began to object but to no avail. "Give me one chance please....."

He then began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. Suddenly, while rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below. The stunned bishop immediately rushed down the stairways. When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments before.


As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked, "Bishop, who was this man?""I don't know his name," the bishop sadly replied, "but he’s a dead ringer for his brother."

COLDWATER
A man went to visit his 90 year old grandfather and while eating the breakfast of eggs and bacon prepared for him, he noticed a film-like substance on his plate. So he says, "Grandfather, are these plates clean?" His grandfather replies, "Those plates are as clean as cold water can get them, so go on and finish your meal".


That afternoon, while eating the hamburgers his grandfather made for lunch, he noticed many little black specks around the edge of his plate, so again he asked, "Grandfather are you sure these plates are clean"? Without looking up from his burger, the grandfather says, “I told you those dishes are as clean as coldwater can get them, now don't ask me about it anymore".

Well, later that day, they were on their way out to get dinner. As he was leaving the house, grandfather's dog who was lying on the floor started to growl and would not let him pass. "Grandfather, your dog won't let me out". Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching, his grandfather shouted, "Coldwater, get your butt out of the way!"
----------------------
FAITH
In April 1988 the evening news reported on a photographer who was a skydiver. He had jumped from a plane along with numerous other skydivers and filmed the group as they fell and opened their parachutes. On the film shown on the telecast, as the final skydiver opened his chute, the picture went berserk.


The announcer reported that the cameraman had fallen to his death, having jumped out of the plane without his parachute. It wasn't until he reached for the absent ripcord that he realized he was freefalling without a parachute.

Until that point, the jump probably seemed exciting and fun. But tragically, he had acted with thoughtless haste and deadly foolishness. Nothing could save him, for his faith was in a parachute never buckled on.


Faith in anything but an all-sufficient God can be just as tragic spiritually. Only with faith in Jesus Christ dare we step into the dangerous excitement of life. – Source Unknown.

PUNS OF THE WEEK FOR MY FRIEND – BLOGOTIONAL, BECAUSE HE LOVES THEM SO MUCH… HE CRIES.
1. If you Russia round and Ukraine your neck don't Crimea river.
2. I czeched on the prague-ress of my geography.
3. A practical Czech is considered to be Praguematic.
4. Television sets in Britain have to cross the English Channel. 5. Occasionally in the Caribbean there's a total calypso the sun.
6. In Ireland you're more likely to get a Pat answer.
7. When Irish boys carry their little brothers, they get a Pat on the back.
8. People in Switzerland can't learn to ski without a lot of alp.
9. When Mongolians walk they like to take big steppes.
10. How Long is a Chinese man.
11. A new country decided to conduct a flag poll.
12. If you send a letter to the Philippines put it in a Manila envelope.
13. A business man who wanted more ties bought some in Thailand where ties are very collar full.
14. When there are auto accidents in Sudan the vehicles go the Khartoum.

SO ONCE AGAIN LET US REMIND OURSELVES, THAT BEING CHEERFUL KEEPS YOU HEALTHY. IT IS SLOW DEATH TO BE GLOOMY ALL THE TIME!

Loving Father, help me by the power of the Holy Spirit, to remind myself that Jesus died to set me free, help me Lord to live that life, and be determined in Him to have a joyful heart, in Jesus wonderful name I pray, amen!

HAVE A GREAT AND GODLY WEEKEND!

Be encouraged!

GBYAY

Site Meter