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Friday, March 03, 2006

DAILY ENCOURAGEMENT FRIDAY - A JOYFUL HEART. #16.

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. - Pro 17:22.

Time goes by so fast here in Australia that it’s the end of another working week! Not that we are complaining, it’s great to be able to sit and relax, read a book, spend time with friends and family, catch up on all those little jobs around the house that need doing, take the children to their respective sports, music lessons etc; and meet up with all our brothers and sisters in Christ at Church! Hallelujah! Praise the wonderful Name of Jesus!

Here is some stuff to keep you in a fit of laughing...

ONE LINER’S
Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all of its students.

Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.
The universe is a figment of its own imagination.
There's no future in time travel.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.

--------------------------
Elderly Fire-fighters
One dark night outside a small town, a fire started inside the local chemical plant. Before long it exploded into flames and an alarm went out to fire departments from miles around. After fighting the fire for over an hour, the chemical company president approached the fire chief and said, "All of our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved! I will give $50,000 to the engine company that brings them out safely!"


As soon as the chief heard this, he ordered the firemen to strengthen their attack on the blaze. After two more hours of attacking the fire, president of the company offered $100,000 to the engine company that could bring out the company's secret files. From the distance a long siren was heard and another fire truck came into sight. It was a local volunteer fire company composed entirely of men over 65.

To everyone's amazement the little fire engine raced through the chemical plant gates and drove straight into the middle of the inferno. In the distance the other firemen watched as the old timers hopped off of their rig and began to fight the fire with an effort that they had never seen before. After an hour of intense fighting the volunteer company had extinguished the fire and saved the secret formulas.

Joyous, the chemical company president announced that he would double the reward to $200,000 and walked over to personally thank each of the volunteers. After thanking each of the old men individually, the president asked the group what they intended to do with the reward money. The fire truck driver looked him right in the eye and said, "The first thing we're going to do is fix the dang brakes on that truck!"
-------------------------
COMPLAINING

A monk joined a monastery and took a vow of silence. After the first 10 years his superior called him in and asked, "Do you have anything to say?" The monk replied, "Food bad." After another 10 years the monk again had opportunity to voice his thoughts. He said, "Bed hard."


Another 10 years went by and again he was called in before his superior. When asked if he had anything to say, he responded, "I quit." His superior said, "It doesn't surprise me a bit. You've done nothing but complain ever since you got here." - Source Unknown.

PUNS OF THE WEEK FOR MY FRIEND, BLOGOTIONAL, BECAUSE HE NEEDS HIS WEEKLY FIX!

1.Talking to her about computer hardware I make my mother board.
2. Will this computer last five years? Obsoletely!
3. He dropped a computer on his toes and had megahertz.
4. Some computer equipment got shot. It was a graphic display.
5. It's tough to be in the computer business when the chips are down.
6. If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
7. Pocket tape recorders were invented for those who like small talk.
8. Be kind to your dentist because he has fillings too.
9. Dentists practice by going through many drills.
10. Buying a cheap mouse could leave you with a squeak and a sad tale.
11. They called him the king of the dentists because he specialized in crowns.
12. Ten years without brushing causes horrible tooth decade.

SO ONCE AGAIN LET US REMIND OURSELVES, THAT BEING CHEERFUL KEEPS YOU HEALTHY. IT IS SLOW DEATH TO BE GLOOMY ALL THE TIME!

Loving Father, help me by the power of the Holy Spirit, to remind myself that Jesus died to set me free, help me Lord to live that life, and be determined in Him to have a joyful heart, in Jesus wonderful name I pray, amen!

HAVE A GREAT AND GODLY WEEKEND!

Be encouraged!

GBYAY

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