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Friday, December 09, 2005


A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. - Pro 17:22.

Well folks, it’s that time of the week to begin to celebrate the Weekend!

I love the weekend, and even though as a Pastor I have to work, but when push comes to shove, I wouldn’t want it any other way. To be able to serve God in the office of Pastor, is an unashamed blessing! I just love to see people enjoy what God intended them to enjoy, rest from their labour, spend time with their loved ones, catch up on all the things that they cannot do during working days.

Our awesome God knows we need this rest, and He factored it into our lives; so that we would be able to worship Him as His universal family, and spend time together doing so! Time to Praise and Worship the Lord, time to fellowship with the saints, time for a challenging Sermon, time to bask in the love and warmth of the brothers and sisters in the Lord! Hallelujah! Praise the wonderful Name of Jesus! So in saying all that, here are a few laughs/thoughts to keep you going...

One man challenged another to an all-day wood chopping contest. The challenger worked very hard, stopping only for a brief lunch break. The other man had a leisurely lunch and took several breaks during the day. At the end of the day, the challenger was surprised and annoyed to find that the other fellow had chopped substantially more wood than he had.
"I don't get it," he said. "Every time I checked, you were taking a rest, yet you chopped more wood than I did."
"But you didn't notice," Said the winning woodsman, "that I was sharpening my ax when I sat down to rest." - Source Unknown.

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
A day without sunshine is like, night.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. Friends may come and go, but enemies tend to accumulate. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.
Genius does what it must, talent does what it can, and you had best do what you're told.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
If you haven't much education you must use your brain.
A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m. One afternoon, as the end of the work day approached, the bartender was dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnut extract.

Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar. The doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink and exclaimed, "This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri." "No, I'm sorry," replied the bartender, "it's a hickory daiquiri doc."
The friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought this was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him.

So the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that: Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
According to a Greek legend, in ancient Athens a man noticed the great storyteller Aesop playing childish games with some little boys. He laughed and jeered at Aesop, asking him why he wasted his time in such frivolous activity.

Aesop responded by picking up a bow, loosening its string, and placing it on the ground. Then he said to the critical Athenian, "Now, answer the riddle, if you can. Tell us what the unstrung bows implies."

The man looked at it for several moments but had no idea what point Aesop was trying to make. Aesop explained, "If you keep a bow always bent, it will break eventually; but if you let it go slack, it will be more fit for use when you want it."

People are also like that. That's why we all need to take time to rest. In today's Scripture, Jesus prescribed time off for His wearied disciples after they had returned from a prolonged period of ministry. And in the Old Testament, God set a pattern for us when He "rested from all His work" (Gen.2:3).

Shouldn't we take His example seriously? Start by setting aside a special time to relax physically and renew yourself emotionally and spiritually. You will be at your best for the Lord if you have taken time to loosen the bow. - Our Daily Bread.

It's true that the earth rotates, but scientists are always putting their own spin on it.
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
A guy became so good with a chainsaw that he was promoted to branch manager.
He bent over to pick up a sieve and strained himself.
Working as an elevator operator has its ups and downs.
He installs ignitions in cars. He's a real self starter.
A guy who built fences had post work depression.
She owned three french-fry factories, but to her it was just small potatoes.
He who hesitates is bossed.
The two guys caught drinking battery acid will soon be charged.
They tried to keep a locksmith in prison, but the nut bolted.
Some burglars are always looking for windows of opportunity.
A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
A basketball player and a jockey just robbed the bank. Police are looking high and low.


Loving Father, help me by the power of the Holy Spirit, to remind myself that Jesus died to set me free, help me Lord to live that life, and be determined in Him to have a joyful heart, in Jesus wonderful name I pray, amen!


Be encouraged!

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