DAILY ENCOURAGEMENT FRIDAY – A CHEERFUL HEART #85.
A guy walks into work, and both of his ears are all bandaged up. The boss says, "What happened to your ears?"
Goody, goody gum drops…
There once was four men all from foreign countries, and none of them spoke a hint of english. The first man like to listen to the opera and learned to sing, "Me!me!me!me!" the second guy got a job at a restaurant and learned to say, "Forks and knives! Forks and knives!" The third guy Got a job at a candy store and learned to say, "Goody, goody gum drops!" And the fourth man was quite lazy and sat in front of the tv all day and learned to say, "Plug it in, plug it in!" of the commercial.
One day the four friends were walking down the road, when they come across a dead woman laying on the side walk, a police officer runs up to them and asks, "Do you know who killed this woman?" the first man then sang, "Me! Me! Me! Me!" The police man then continues, "What did ya kill er with?' And the second man replied, "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" The police man, then asked, "You're going to jail!" and the third man said, "Goody, goody gum drops!” and then the police officer threatened, "We're going put you in the electric chair!" and the third, and laziest man replied, "Plug it in, plug it in!"
A boxer named Mongo Wogchops successfully returns to the ring after losing both his legs in a car accident. His professional record now stands at 10 wins without defeet!
Two men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day, were led down to the room in which they would meet their maker. The priest had given them last rites, the warden had given the formal speech, and a final prayer had been said among the participants.
The warden, turning to the first man, solemnly asked, "Son, do you have a last request?"
To which the man replied, "Yes sir, I do. I love dance music. Could you please play the Macarena for me one last time?"
"Certainly," replied the warden.
He turned to the other man and asked, "Well, what about you, son? What is your final request?"
"Please," said the condemned man, "kill me first."
There once was a captain who captained a ship that controlled the WHOLE Gulf of Mexico. One day, the captain saw a ship coming toward them. He told his first mate, "Get me my red shirt!" The mate did as he was told and brought the captain his shirt. The captain put the shirt on, and fought the battle. The captain’s ship won, and the other ship retreated. The captain of the ship gave the first mate the shirt back to put in safe keeping.
The next day, the Captain saw TWO ships coming. He said, " First mate, bring me my red shirt!" The mate once again brought the shirt, and the captain put it on and won the battle. The day after that, the captain saw five ships coming toward them. The captain ordered for his red shirt, and he won the battle.
After the battle with the seven ships, the First mate was amazed. “Captain, is that a magical red shirt you are wearing? Everytime you have worn it, we have won our battles!" The captain replied "no, I wear the red shirt so that if i get wounded, none of our crew will see any blood. If they saw that their captain was hurt, they would not fight as valiantly as they would, because they were afraid." "aahh that makes sense" the mate replied.
A week later, the captain saw 50 ships coming toward them. The first mate asked the captain if he wanted his red shirt, but the captain said “NO, get me my brown pants."
A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says,” I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.
During an especially trying time in the work of the China Inland Mission, Hudson Taylor wrote to his wife, "We have twenty-five cents--and all the promises of God! - W. Wiersbe.
The Poison Wife…
A man goes to see his Rabbi."Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."
The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."The next day the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife on the phone yesterday for over three hours. You want my advice?"
WE ARE REMINDED THAT BEING CHEERFUL KEEPS US HEALTHY… IT IS SLOW DEATH TO BE GLOOMY ALL THE TIME!
Loving Father, help me by the power of the Holy Spirit, to remind myself that Jesus died to set me free, help me Lord to live that life, and be determined in Him to have a cheerful heart, in Jesus wonderful Name I pray, amen!
HAVE A GREAT AND GODLY WEEKEND!