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Friday, March 28, 2008


A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. - Pro 17:22.

Friday has come and brings to an end another working week. What better way to get into a good frame of mind than to end it with a good laugh…

Iron Phone…
A guy walks into work, and both of his ears are all bandaged up. The boss says, "What happened to your ears?"

He says, "Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and shhh! I accidentally answered the iron."

The boss says, "Well, that explains one ear, but what happened to your other ear?"

He says, "Well, heck, I had to call the doctor!"
Goody, goody gum drops…
There once was four men all from foreign countries, and none of them spoke a hint of english. The first man like to listen to the opera and learned to sing, "Me!me!me!me!" the second guy got a job at a restaurant and learned to say, "Forks and knives! Forks and knives!" The third guy Got a job at a candy store and learned to say, "Goody, goody gum drops!" And the fourth man was quite lazy and sat in front of the tv all day and learned to say, "Plug it in, plug it in!" of the commercial.

One day the four friends were walking down the road, when they come across a dead woman laying on the side walk, a police officer runs up to them and asks, "Do you know who killed this woman?" the first man then sang, "Me! Me! Me! Me!" The police man then continues, "What did ya kill er with?' And the second man replied, "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" The police man, then asked, "You're going to jail!" and the third man said, "Goody, goody gum drops!” and then the police officer threatened, "We're going put you in the electric chair!" and the third, and laziest man replied, "Plug it in, plug it in!"

The Boxer…
A boxer named Mongo Wogchops successfully returns to the ring after losing both his legs in a car accident. His professional record now stands at 10 wins without defeet!

Final Request…
Two men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day, were led down to the room in which they would meet their maker. The priest had given them last rites, the warden had given the formal speech, and a final prayer had been said among the participants.

The warden, turning to the first man, solemnly asked, "Son, do you have a last request?"

To which the man replied, "Yes sir, I do. I love dance music. Could you please play the Macarena for me one last time?"

"Certainly," replied the warden.

He turned to the other man and asked, "Well, what about you, son? What is your final request?"

"Please," said the condemned man, "kill me first."

Brown Pants…
There once was a captain who captained a ship that controlled the WHOLE Gulf of Mexico. One day, the captain saw a ship coming toward them. He told his first mate, "Get me my red shirt!" The mate did as he was told and brought the captain his shirt. The captain put the shirt on, and fought the battle. The captain’s ship won, and the other ship retreated. The captain of the ship gave the first mate the shirt back to put in safe keeping.

The next day, the Captain saw TWO ships coming. He said, " First mate, bring me my red shirt!" The mate once again brought the shirt, and the captain put it on and won the battle. The day after that, the captain saw five ships coming toward them. The captain ordered for his red shirt, and he won the battle.

After the battle with the seven ships, the First mate was amazed. “Captain, is that a magical red shirt you are wearing? Everytime you have worn it, we have won our battles!" The captain replied "no, I wear the red shirt so that if i get wounded, none of our crew will see any blood. If they saw that their captain was hurt, they would not fight as valiantly as they would, because they were afraid." "aahh that makes sense" the mate replied.

A week later, the captain saw 50 ships coming toward them. The first mate asked the captain if he wanted his red shirt, but the captain said “NO, get me my brown pants."
Thanksgiving Divorce…
A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says,” I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her."

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this,"She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."
Faith Spot…
During an especially trying time in the work of the China Inland Mission, Hudson Taylor wrote to his wife, "We have twenty-five cents--and all the promises of God! - W. Wiersbe.
The Poison Wife…
A man goes to see his Rabbi."Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."

The Rabbi asks, "What's wrong?"

The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me."

The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"

The man then pleads, "I'm telling you I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?"

The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."The next day the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife on the phone yesterday for over three hours. You want my advice?"

The man anxiously answers, "Yes."

"Take the poison," says the Rabbi.

Loving Father, help me by the power of the Holy Spirit, to remind myself that Jesus died to set me free, help me Lord to live that life, and be determined in Him to have a cheerful heart, in Jesus wonderful Name I pray, amen!


Be encouraged!

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