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Friday, August 24, 2007


A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. - Pro 17:22.

Friday has come and brings to an end another working week. What better way to get into a good frame of mind than to end it with a good laugh…

Two Jewish gentlemen, long-time friends, happened to meet, and one noticed that the other seemed depressed."What's wrong?" he asked.

"There's terrible trouble in my family, " the first fellow said. "I sent my son to Israel so that he would come home a better Jew and believe it or not, he came home a Christian."

"It's funny that you should mention that," said the second man. "Exactly the same thing happened to me. I sent my son to Israel so that he'd become a better Jew, and he too, came home a Christian.

"They both decided to seek the advice of their rabbi. They went and told their rabbi what had happened in their families."It's funny that you should mention that," said the rabbi, "because exactly the same thing happened in our family. I sent my only son to Israel in hope that he would become a better Jew, and, believe it not, he also came home a Christian."

At that, the three men fell to their knees, and with tears streaming down their faces, addressed God the Father Almighty directly.

When each of them told the Lord their stories, they heard a voice from heaven reply: "It's funny that you should mention that . . ."

The Brutal Truth…
A man called up a bible believing church and the church secretary answered the call. The man on the other end of the line said, "I'd like to speak to the head hog."
The secretary replied, "That wasn't a very nice thing to say about our beloved minister, Rev. Jones." Again the man replied, "I'd like to speak to the head hog, because I'm going to donate £75,000.00 to the church.
She replied, "Hold on a moment, I think the big fat pig just walked in."

A Strange Combination…
What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovahs Witness?
Someone who knocks at your door for no apparent reason.

The Angry Atheist…
The story is told of the Atheist who accosted a preacher. "Do you believe in eternal life?"
The preacher has no time to reply.
"Well its a load of rubbish!" shouted the Atheist. "I believe in science, evolution, survival of the fittest, and when we die, that's it! No eternal life, no great judgement, and no God!" The Atheist continues his assault against the preacher repetitiously and tirelessly. "Eternal life! Eternal life! Ha! "Its all pie in the sky when you die." When I die that's it, the end, no eternal life, no nothing. He continues, until he reaches his climax, "I will be buried six feet under when I die and that's it! Nothing! Caput! When I die I am utterly convinced that that will be the end of me!"
"Well thank God for that" replies the preacher!
Domestic Problems…
Adam was walking outside of the Garden of Eden with Cane and Abel when the boys were young.
Cane and Abel looked into the garden and viewed waterfalls, lovely birds, lush forests and fruit trees bending over because of the large amounts of fruit on them.
Then they took a long look at where they lived at. It was dry, dusty with weeds and sickly-looking trees.
"Daddy? Why don't we live in there instead of out here?" they asked innocently.
Adam said, "Well sons. Eve and I use to live in there at one time. But your mother ate us out of house and home."
Good Sermon…
After a very long and boring sermon the parishioners filed out of the church saying nothing to the preacher.
Towards the end of the line was a thoughtful person who always commented on the sermons. "Pastor, today your sermon reminded me of the peace and love of God!"
The pastor was thrilled. "No-one has ever said anything like that about my preaching before. Tell me why."
"Well - it reminded me of the Peace of God because it passed all understanding and the Love of God because it endured forever!"
Forget each kindness that you do as soon as you have done it.
Forget the praise that falls to you the moment you have won it.
Forget the slander that you hear before you can repeat it.
Forget each slight, each spite, each sneer, whenever you may meet.
Remember every promise made and keep it to the letter.
Remember those who lend you aid and be a grateful debtor.
Remember all the happiness that comes your way in living.
Forget each worry and distress; be hopeful and forgiving.
Remember good, remember truth, remember heaven is above you.
And you will find, through age and youth, that many will love you.
Christian Science Healing…
A leader in a Christian Science church was talking to a member of his congregation: "And how is your husband today?"
"I'm afraid he's very ill."
"No, no," corrected the leader, "You really shouldn't say that - you should say that he's under the impression that he's very ill.
" The woman nods in agreement, "Yes, I'll remember next time."
A few weeks later the leader saw the woman again. "And how is your husband at the moment?"

"Well", she replied, "he's under the impression that he's dead!"


Loving Father, help me by the power of the Holy Spirit, to remind myself that Jesus died to set me free, help me Lord to live that life, and be determined in Him to have a cheerful heart, in Jesus wonderful Name I pray, amen!


Be encouraged!

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