IF I COULD BE A...

Gary from Both Worlds has tagged me play a game where I pick four of the following occupations and tell what I would do if I could be those things. OK, I'll play. Here's the list:

If I could be a scientist... a farmer... a musician... a doctor... a painter... a gardener... a missionary... a chef... an architect... a linguist... a psychologist... a librarian... an athlete... a lawyer... an inn-keeper... a professor... a writer... a llama-rider... a bonnie pirate... an astronaut... a world famous blogger... a justice on any one court in the world... married to any current famous political figure.

Here are my answers...

If I could be a doctor... I’d treat myself and cure my gout, help me to lose some weight, then bank all the money I saved on treatment and food so that I could take my wife on a holiday to Hawaii , where the doctors go with my money!

If I could be a linguist... I would teach myself to speak proper English and not have a mixture of Scottish/Australian which confuses everybody. I would also phone Osama Bin laden and tell him to get his butt over to the USA where a lot of people are waiting to kick it!

If I could be a chef... I would cook my wife and I the best meal we will ever have, which would be;

An entrée of Prawns from the waters off the west coast of Scotland, followed by a starter course of Scallops and Squid from the same area, followed by the main course of Haddock from the deep North Sea, served on a bed of lovely mashed new potatoes from Ayrshire, and surrounded by freshly picked peas from the fields of Fife, followed by a sumptuous Rhubarb Tart covered in pure Scottish Cream, and all of this washed down with a bottle fine Australian Chardonnay, and finish the meal off with a platter of fine Scottish Cheeses and Australian fruit, with a lovely glass of Matteus Rose' to accompany it!

If I could be a scientist... I would be able to explain to John Schroeder of Blogational the finer points of science, that he writes about on his blog, and which I haven’t a clue what he is talking about! For instance;

Species? I found this site and this site, neither of which can come up with a reasonable definition of what actually constitutes a species. I was surprised, when I studied zoology the "phylum" and "genus" were pretty easily understood and defined concepts. "Species" was too specific for the classes I took, but I assumed (big mistake) that "species" would be similarly well defined. Duh?

Right, now that I am finished, I can now tag three people, who will I tag? How about... Angel wiv Attitude, Miss Concept, and Maverick Mindset.