DAILY ENCOURAGEMENT FRIDAY - A CHEERFUL HEART. #29.
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. - Pro 17:22. TNIV
It is well documented that for every mile that you jog, you add one minute to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.
Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down till the feeling goes away!
I don't jog; it makes the ice jump right out of my glass!
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
Ponderings collection 01
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
What's your religion?
I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!"
"Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said,
"Well, there's so much to live for!"
"Well ... are you religious or atheist?"
"Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?"
"Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"
"Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"
"Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"
"Baptist Church of God."
"Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"
"Reformed Baptist Church of God."
"Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?"
"Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!"
To which I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.
Getting a Promotion
A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion.
"What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job." replied the Priest.
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi."Well, next I can become Arch-Bishop." said the Priest.
"Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi.
"If I work real hard and do a good job as Arch-Bishop, it's possible for me to become a full Bishop." said the Priest.
"O.K., then what?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest, begining to get a bit exasperated replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal."
"And then?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope."
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Good grief!" shouted the Priest. "What do you expect me to become, GOD?"
"Well," said the Rabbi, "One of our boys made it!"
Thinking of the fullness and duration of this wonderful life, W. B. Hinson, a great preacher of a past generation, spoke from his own experience just before he died. He said, "I remember a year ago when a doctor told me, 'You have an illness from which you won't recover.'
I walked out to where I live 5 miles from Portland, Oregon, and I looked across at that mountain that I love. I looked at the river in which I rejoice, and I looked at the stately trees that are always God's own poetry to my soul.
Then in the evening I looked up into the great sky where God was lighting His lamps, and I said, ' I may not see you many more times, but Mountain, I shall be alive when you are gone; and River, I shall be alive when you cease running toward the sea; and Stars, I shall be alive when you have fallen from your sockets in the great down pulling of the material universe!' "
- W. B. Hinson.
WE ARE REMINDED THAT BEING CHEERFUL KEEPS US HEALTHY… IT IS SLOW DEATH TO BE GLOOMY ALL THE TIME!
Loving Father, help me by the power of the Holy Spirit, to remind myself that Jesus died to set me free, help me Lord to live that life, and be determined in Him to have a cheerful heart, in Jesus wonderful Name I pray, amen!
HAVE A GREAT AND GODLY WEEKEND!