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Friday, August 04, 2006

DAILY ENCOURAGEMENT FRIDAY - A CHEERFUL HEART. #32.

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. - Pro 17:22. TNIV

SQUID ...
A man walks into a restaurant and orders squid.
"Certainly Sir," says Jervaise the waiter, "Would you like to choose your squid from the tank over there?"
"I'll have that little green one with the moustache" says the customer.
"Oh no!" replies Jervaise "but he's my favourite! - He's so small and cute and friendly. Surely you'd prefer one of the bigger, meatier ones?"
"No" says the customer "It's got to be that one".

So Jervaise gets the little green squid out and puts him on the chopping block, raises his knife and ....... the little squid looks up and smiles, twitching his bushy moustache into a big friendly grin!

"It's no good", says Jervaise, "I can't do it. I'll have to ask Hans who does the washing up. He's a big, tough brute - he'll be able to do the evil deed."

So out comes Hans, while Jervaise disappears off in tears. Hans picks up the knife, raises it to chop the little squid's head off and...... once again the little friendly squid looks up and smiles, wiggling his little legs and twitching his little moustache. So Hans, too, finds it impossible to kill him.

The moral?

Hans that does dishes is as soft as Jervaise with mild green hairy-lip squid.
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Church Dictionary...
AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.
BULLETIN: Parish information, read only during the homily.
CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the congregation to lip-sync.
HYMN: A song of praise, usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range.
INCENSE: Holy Smoke!
JONAH: The original "Jaws" story.
JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.
MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.
MANGER:
1. Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph didn't have private health coverage.
2. The Biblical proof that holiday travel has always been rough.
PEW: A medieval torture device still found in most churches.
USHERS: The only people in the parish who don't know the seating capacity of a pew!
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Clowning about...
This lady is giving a party for her granddaughter, and has gone all out. She had a caterer, band, and a hired clown.

Just before the party starts, two bums show up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for the bums, the woman tells them that they can get a meal if they will chop some wood out back. Gratefully, they head to the rear of the house.

Guests arrive, and all is going well with the children having a wonderful time. But the clown has not shown up, and finally, the clown calls to report that he is stuck in traffic, and will probably not make the party at all. The woman is very disappointed and unsuccessfully tries to entertain the children herself.

She happens to look out the window and sees one of the bums doing cartwheels across the lawn. She watches in awe as he swings from tree branches, does midair flips, and leaps high in the air. She speaks to the other bum and says, "What your friend is doing is absolutely marvelous. I have never seen such a thing. Do you think your friend would consider repeating this performance for the children at the party? I would pay him $50!"

The bum replies, "Well, I dunno. Let me ask him.
HEY WILLIE! FOR $50, WOULD YOU CHOP OFF ANOTHER TOE?"
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WORSHIP
True biblical worship so satisfies our total personality that we don't have to shop around for man-made substitutes. William Temple made this clear in his masterful definition of worship:

For worship is the submission of all our nature to God. It is the quickening of conscience by His holiness; the nourishment of mind with His truth; the purifying of imagination by His beauty; the opening of the heart to His love; the surrender of will to His purpose -- and all of this gathered up in adoration, the most selfless emotion of which our nature is capable and therefore the chief remedy for that self-centeredness which is our original sin and the source of all actual sin. - Warren W. Wiersbe .
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The Pope, Billy Graham, and Oral Roberts…

The Pope, Billy Graham, and Oral Roberts were in a plane crash over the Atlantic Ocean. Tragically they all died and went to the pearly gates together.

St. Peter was surprised to see them. "Oh, dear! We weren't expecting you and your quarters aren't ready yet. We can't take you in and we can't send you back!"

Getting an idea, he picked up the celestial phone and called Lucifer. "I have three gentlemen who are ours, but their places aren't ready yet. Could you put them up for a couple of days? I'll owe you one." The Devil reluctantly agreed.

Two days later, St. Peter got a call. "Pete, this is Lucifer. You have to come get these three guys that are yours. This Pope guy is forgiving everybody, the Graham fellow is saving everybody, and Oral Roberts has raised enough money to buy air conditioning!"

WE ARE REMINDED THAT BEING CHEERFUL KEEPS US HEALTHY… IT IS SLOW DEATH TO BE GLOOMY ALL THE TIME!

Loving Father, help me by the power of the Holy Spirit, to remind myself that Jesus died to set me free, help me Lord to live that life, and be determined in Him to have a cheerful heart, in Jesus wonderful Name I pray, amen!

HAVE A GREAT AND GODLY WEEKEND!

Be encouraged!
GBYAY

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