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Friday, April 21, 2006

DAILY ENCOURAGEMENT FRIDAY - A CHEERFUL HEART. #22.


A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.. - Pro 17:22. TNIV

This has been an interesting week, and a very short one, owing to the Easter Holidays, Friday – Monday. It was great to be able to share this with some of our children and grandchildren. We had a wonderful Easter service, and fellowship at Church on Sunday, followed by a wonderful lunch, including Champagne and Fresh Oysters, Oysters Kilpatrick, Wild Salmon and Asparagus, and delicious individual Pavlova’s to finish the meal off! What a way to celebrate Resurrection Sunday! Praise the wonderful name of Jesus! So, let’s have a laugh to get this weekend started…

ONE LINERS
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humour.
Some drink at the fountain of knowledge, others just gargle.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
There's too much blood in my caffeine system.

When there's a will, I want to be in it.
Good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

Want a Push?
A man is in bed with his wife when he hears a rat-a-tat-tat on the front door. He rolls over, looks at the clock and sees that it's three o'clock in the morning. "What idiot would be knocking at the door at this hour?" thinks the man, and he rolls over and tries to go back to sleep.

After a few minutes, there's a louder knock on the door. "Aren't you going to see who it is?" asks his wife, so the man drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs. He opens the door to find a stranger standing outside.
"Eh mate," says the stranger, "Can you give us a push?"
"No! Get lost! It's three in the morning. I was sleeping," says the man and shuts the door.

He goes back to bed and tells his wife what happened. She says, "Remember that night when we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick up the kids from the babysitter and you had to knock on that man's door to get him to help us? What would have happened if he'd told us to 'get lost'?"

So the man gets out of bed again, gets dressed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and, not being able to see the stranger anywhere, he shouts, "Hey. Do you still want a push?"
A voice cries out, "Yes please, mate."
So, still being unable to see the stranger the man shouts, "Where are you?"
"I'm over here on the swings."

HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

The Bells, The Bells...
Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. However, all the league records were unfortunately destroyed in a fire. Thus we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!


WISDOM:
An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom or beauty. Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom.

"Done!" says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. At length, one of his colleagues whispers, "Say something."

The dean looks at them and says, "I should have taken the money."
- Betsy Devine and Joel E. Cohen.

PUNS OF THE WEEK FOR MY FRIEND – BLOGOTIONAL; HE LOVES THEM SO MUCH… HE LAUGHED SOME WEIGHT OFF!
1. An argument over puppy selection is a pique of the litter.
2. Thieves kidnapped the prized Asian ape because they believed in gibbon take.
3. I had such a bad cold, I thought I was coffin to death.
4. The two desk lamps were considered to be social-lights, because they kept going out at night together.
5. The hen was unable to add numbers until the rooster bought her a new cackle-later.
6. Purchasing land in Baton Rouge won't bayou a thing.
7. Do you have any parting words? - How about comb and brush?
8. The smartest nut mixtures have some macadamia.
9. Its amazing how eagles catch their prey, they must be really talonted.
10. One scholar claimed that others could count on him to get even with odd numbers.
11. The frustrated cannibal threw up his hands.
12. My dog keeps me healthy, so he's my cur for the common cold.
13. A bird watcher was recently convicted of storking.
14. Never cry when you're playing tennis, because you could be charged with racket tearing.
15. When asked by a passenger how high he would get, the pilot replied,'I don't do drugs.'
16. We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
17. If you eat soup that's nine days old you will get bad broth.
18. To photograph peas, you need a good try pod.
19. In the air duct installers union they have lots of opportunity to vent.
20. Hospitals that buy in bulk get a valium discount.
HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

SO ONCE AGAIN LET US REMIND OURSELVES, THAT BEING CHEERFUL KEEPS YOU HEALTHY. IT IS SLOW DEATH TO BE GLOOMY ALL THE TIME!

Loving Father, help me by the power of the Holy Spirit, to remind myself that Jesus died to set me free, help me Lord to live that life, and be determined in Him to have a joyful heart, in Jesus wonderful name I pray, amen!

HAVE A GREAT AND GODLY WEEKEND!

Be encouraged!

GBYAY

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