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Friday, January 27, 2006


A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. - Pro 17:22.

This is my first ‘Joyful Heart’ for the year, and so far its been a great start to the New Year. I have had a wonderful time physically and spiritually the past four weeks, it’s been great to relax and get some of the stuff done that has been overlooked, because of the busyness of last year, hopefully we can get a bit more organised this year.

Last year saw my wife Jean struggle with an illness for six months, but after 5 weeks in hospital, and four operations on her foot, she is almost back to normal, by that I mean she hasn’t been spending as much of our money as she used too, but looking at her spending over past two weeks, she is definitely feeling better! We give thanks for to the Lord for her healing, and for all of you who prayed for Jean, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

So, let’s get on with cheering you up over the weekend...

Support bacteria, they're the only culture some people have. The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Finland. Now Santa Claus is missing.

The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.
The universe is a figment of its own imagination.
There's no future in time travel.
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't. T
here are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
7 things to do to when Blogger.Com goes down

1. Dial 911 Immediately.
2. Open the curtains to see if anything has changed over the past 2 years.
3. You mean there's something else to do?
4. Threaten your ISP with an impeachment vote.
5. Work.
6. Re-introduce yourself to your immediate family.
7. Get that kidney transplant you've been putting off.

A man found himself, he knew not how, swept up on the shore of an island. There was nothing else anywhere to be seen. No person, no supplies, nothing. The man looked around. There were some bananas and coconuts, but that was it. He was desperate, and forlorn, but decided to make the best of it.

For the next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice and mostly looked to the sea for a ship to come to his rescue.

One day, as he was lying on the beach stroking his beard and looking for a ship, he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. Could it be true, was it a ship? No, from around the corner of the island came a rowboat.

In it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen -- or at least in last 4 months. She was tall, tanned, and her blonde hair flowed in the sea breeze. He watched as she rowed her boat toward him.

As she arrived at the beach, he asked, "Where did you come from, how did you get here"?
She said, "I rowed from the other side of the island.. I landed on this island when my cruise ship sank"

"Amazing," he said, "I didn't know anyone else had survived. How many of you are there?"

"It is only me," she said. "Would you like to row over to my place?"

They both got into the rowboat and left for her side of island. The woman easily rowed them around to a wharf that led to the approach to her place. She tied up the rowboat with a beautifully woven hemp rope. They walked up a stone walk and around a Palm tree, and there stood an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.

"It's not much," she said, "but I call it home. Have a seat. Would you like a drink?"

"No," said the man, "one more coconut juice and I will puke."

"It won't be coconut juice," the woman replied, "I have a still. How about a Pina Colada?

Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk.

"You look great," said the woman, "I think I will go up and slip into something more comfortable."

After a short time, the woman returned wearing fig leaves strategically positioned and smelling faintly of gardenia. "Tell me," she purred, "we have both been out here for a very long time with no companionship. You know what I mean. Have you been lonely? Is there anything that you really miss?"

She moved closer to him. "Something that all men and woman need? Something that it would be really nice to have right now?"

"Yes there is, now that you mention it," the man replied, moving closer to her. "Tell me, do you happen to have an Internet connection?"
Both the hummingbird and the vulture fly over our nation's deserts. All vultures see is rotting meat, because that is what they look for. They thrive on that diet. But hummingbirds ignore the smelly flesh of dead animals. Instead, they look for the colorful blossoms of desert plants. The vultures live on what was. They live on the past. They fill themselves with what is dead and gone. But hummingbirds live on what is. They seek new life. They fill themselves with freshness and life. Each bird finds what it is looking for. We all do. - Steve Goodier.


Greys Anatomy has many humerus remarks.
The soup was so bad it was gruel and unusual punishment. The cannibal passed his brother in the woods.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? The Flanders native kept clearing his throat because he was phlegmish.
Meetings - where we take minutes and waste hours.
The greatest nut Meg ever knew met a grater.
Old genealogists never die, they just lose their census.
New years resolution for the bankrupt gardener was to forget the past and rely on the fuchsia.
The personal trainer quit his job because it wasn't working out.
How Long is a Chinese man.
The air conditioning contractor was noted for his efficiency because he kept all his ducts in a row.
The first order of priority in hiring math majors is get them to sine on the dotted line
They tried to save him with an I.V. but it was all in vein.
He gave her a fork for Christmas because there is no tine like the present.
Fishermen don't tell lies - they just get their lines tangled.
The eastern potentate spent money as if it were Emir drop in the bucket.
England doesn't have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool
Florence Nightingale had many suitors because men liked to go with the Flo.
The man lost his grip at the wood chopping competition - he was defeeted.


Loving Father, help me by the power of the Holy Spirit, to remind myself that Jesus died to set me free, help me Lord to live that life, and be determined in Him to have a joyful heart, in Jesus wonderful name I pray, amen!


Be encouraged!


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